And it finally hits...

I think today I finally realized how little help I can provide in the end of it all. I came to Kinshasa primarily to learn, that I already knew. But I also wanted to help—or in some way empower those that I will be teaching. I found out today that some of the students that live in the residence with me won’t be able to take my course because they can’t pay the small amount the Institute (ISSI—more info on the left panel) is asking for. I know that ISSI is asking for something reasonable and are not making any profit, but I felt so bad when a few of the girls told me they wouldn’t with a look of disappointment. Here I was and some of the girls living with me couldn’t learn the materials I had brought to teach. I talked to one of the directors in charge of residence and she told me the frank truth I needed to hear—I can’t put the weight of the world on my shoulders. True—I could do no more...instead I suggested that maybe one of the evenings we could have an open practice time were I could be available for those needing help with their homework and to practice with those that couldn’t come to the courses. She said that would be a good idea—and at least that was resolved for the moment.

And finally…I went on my walk today with Carolina (the other Spanish girl living in the residence who is giving classes on child birth to the nursing students) around the neighborhood and just five minutes into the walk I saw a child be run over by a car. At first I think I was in shock, but then I realized it was real. People started gathering to see what had happened and people started running towards the hospital (luckily it was right there—Monkele—next to the school were I’m teaching--the pic is the new hospital they are building, more on it later). I felt so helpless because I knew I could do nothing and that if I went to talk to them I would probably only agitate them more seeing as I was a foreigner with no tools to aide.

There are very wise women who are in charge at the residence where I live—they have come to learn what it means to help, but at the same time what it means to survive as a person. Tomorrow I begin my courses in spite of the day. At least today gave me a rejuvenation for preparing as much as possible to be able to teach as much as possible through the means I have to help—my courses.